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Monday, 17 October 2011

Strangers again

You and I began as strangers
You came into my life … but little did I expect that we will become strangers, again

It’s funny how strangers come together as friends so easily and then at the end of a relationship/friendship .. you become strangers again.

Four more days and it will be his birthday, three years ago I threw him a surprise party with all my friends, two years after we celebrated together as a couple, I had to wish him over the phone as we were separated by distance a year later, today I am sitting here thinking if I should sent him a text or pretend I have forgotten about it instead.

Stage 1 Meeting
Thanks to D and A to introduce us @ The Meat & Wine Co. Close friends knew we were compatible and I guess they took a risk by organising a blind date or I would say a trial match making.When there is an attraction/connection, we would do anything for the right person, but trust me at the end of the day it pays of when we get what we wanted or we found the person we are looking for after searching for so long.

Stage 2 Chase
This is the best part, hanging out together daily, finding common interest, getting to know each other more, wanting to talk only to each other every night. I was the number one priority in his life and he is everything I could see perfect in a guy.

Stage 3 Honeymoon
Finally we are officially together, we are able to fully express our affection for each other and do everything we want to do as a couple. It is like a dream come true, I am finally his Gal and he is the man in my life.
I am so glad we have each other in our lives at that moment in time. I didn't know what I could do without him.
I know that no matter what, we'll make it through and we’ll hope to have a tomorrow together.

Stage 4 Comfortable
Here we can truly be ourselves. If we respect and care for each other enough, we will  want to treat the relationship positively, eager to work on the special relationship and continue to grow together (emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically) But sometimes we allow ourselves to create distance and take each other for granted. We start blaming on how people can changed over time but the bottom line is one of us stop trying and sadly the feelings were not as strong as before (it could happen over a few months or a few years) Many relationships fail at this stage because we became lazy.

Stage 5 Tolerance
It happens so gradually that we didn't even notice. I must agree with Wong Fu Productions :

“Arguing is one thing but feeling dissatisfied and unhappy with the relationship is another. We tried various times to try and make changes; to fix things. but like so many couples out there, it wasn’t enough. It became one of those relationships were it wasn’t bad but it wasn’t great. and let me tell you that’s never a good way to describe a relationship..."
"... at this point do you realise there are two options for our future together, it is either breakup or get married?"
" Do you want to get married? ... Do you want to breakup with me? Well it is one or the other and we will have to make a decision ... but what if I don’t know right now?"

Girl : "What do you think will happen if we don’t end up together, are we going to hate each other or do you think we will keep in touch?

Boy: " I think if life separate us, we will be in totally separate places, I will always remember when you pass my life during this period and I will be thankful for that and hope that wherever you are you will be thankful too and I think that is the best we could wish for."

Stage 6 Downhill
Both of us knew by now that there is not much time left, we made effort to make things work but soon we realise is not worth it anymore. What was the problem? Why did we argue? How did this happen? When will it end? Who would call it off first? Questions that needed answers.

Stage 7 Breaking up
This is by far the worst stage ever. I don’t know when or how it happened and I can't remember who wanted it more. I guess it was for the best of both of us, we finally can start a new life.
Now this path leads us straight back to where we started as strangers.
At first, I missed him so much but the distance grew us apart. Eventually we will move on and find someone new. And even if we both get over our past and we remained friends, things will still never be the same.
Our life will continue on, in different directions towards the inevitable end.
Everything we share will become a fragment of memories so long ago sometimes I wonder if it really happened. With only a small box of random stuff remained to remind me that T was once an important person in my life.

Finally it is confirmed, in Jan next year, I will be heading over to China, working closely together with International China Concern. I can't thank God enough for bringing together four very talented and gifted individuals. Sanmenxia (三门峡) 2012 is going  to bring love, hope and opportunity to the abandoned and disabled children.
Within a very short period of three weeks, I can tell you now that I will be experiencing all the above seven stages with the underprivileged children. 
There will be lots of tears the few first days meeting them (stage1) then comes learning how to care for them (stage2) and finding the connection (stage3), in return they will start to accept and slowly bond (stage4), at this point in the middle of the trip I might either give up physically or I will be emotionally lost (stage5) and by the time I get my act together (stage6) it is time to bid farewell (stage7) Especially the last day as I pack up my stuff to go home, I will have to keep reminding myself to be strong and hold back my tears. I should not be upset in front of them cause I can only imagine they will be 100x or even 1000x more disappointed with my departure.