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Sunday, 18 March 2012

Friendship : Why We Need Real Friends (Part 1)

Facebook, Twitter, Google+, Instagram, YouTube, I follow very closely ... LinkedIn, MySpace, Foursquare I had to stop here but the list of online social space goes on with Tumblr, StumbleUpon, Pinterest ... Who have all these accounts? 

I still remember my days started with ICQ & Friendster, then MSN messenger and now Google Talk. But with 3G smartphone Whatsapp, Viber, Tango & Skype became very popular ... who needs to come out to meet new friends or catch up with old friends?

It came to a point, just scary, I had to limit myself to a few and force myself to choose which is important or priority over others ... which apps that I can't live without. Why?

I feel the more we expect from technology the less we can expect from people. We should technically focus on making people engage with each other for improvement. Is technology really doing us more good or harm?

This picture is quite true in some ways! Looking at my past and comparing the present, it made me realize nowadays children grow up too quickly, as adults, they will soon find they lost their childhood. Back in my time, children did not have gadgets like iPad or iPhone ...we fight, we laugh, we cry ... those were great connection ... that is how life should be .... enriching and fulfilling....yup I can still remember my good old days playing with my friends and cousins .... I sound so old. Well, most of people I grew up with had move on and started their own family. Hopefully setting good examples for our future generation.

I look at Facebook and Twitter at less a few times a day, sometimes I have time to comment on my friends page or post a little message to update my status. But most days, I don't have the time or the brain capacity to write too much details, so I just skim through the newsfeed. Just a quick glance, helps me to keep in the loop and feel a little connected with people that I know. I went to the extend of using VPN to allow me to access these social sites while I was in China, yup, it amazed my team, how much I needed the connection to the outside world. 

In Psalm 52, it says God looks down from heaven to the human race. Maybe this is like me skimming through social sites of my friends, my Holy Father is also perusing across the world to check out what people were up to. But obviously the difference is when God looks upon us, he sees straight into our heart, he know our desires, our fears and our feelings, he doesn't just skim through our status updates for His own entertainment, He actually is interested in connecting with each of us.

I love Facebook but there is no doubt that the site has devalued the word friend. You can have hundred or thousand friends on Facebook

  • but not have anyone to go out with to the movies or go out on a Friday night,
  • but not have anyone to share something (deep) that is going on in your life
  • but not able to share your relationship, your marriage, your children
  • but not someone who is going to help you to move house

It takes a real friend to help you do all these ... not a Facebook friend or a "follow me" friend. 

God intended friendship to be our ultimate experience. Friendships are universal (not limited to any nation, any culture) however it is not widely discussed on how we developed it. There are so many seminar, reference books in the store and online websites that touches on relationship (boyfriend girlfriend husband wife) but there is no seminar to teach us on "How to be a great friend & How to find great friend?" Why doesn't it exist when it is so important to us, we value our friendship, we spend so much time with friends everyday, going away with friends etc.

Therefore, we should treat friendship as the highest form of any relationship. Why? I was wondering in the future how would I introduce my partner to other people?

He is the best husband ... He is my best husband or He is my best friend (I like this this best)

It is scary to be husband and wife but not be friends. I came across a friend who is married and had children but the children are closer to their housekeeper than the parents while the mother and father do not spend any time together as husband and wife. Yes legally they are married but they don't understand the meaning of a true marriage. I told them just because you are the parents doesn't mean you are friends with your children. Yes they can't chose their parents but they can stop being your friend. And when that happens it's just heartbreaking.

Friendship isn't base on necessity or need. It's a choice. 
We were created to connect to each other. 
We are not meant to live alone, we need people. 
(refer the book of Genesis, God thinks we all need people in our lives)
In every friendship there is either the seed of prosperity or the seed of destruction/ corruption.
Choose the right people who add to your life, not take away from it.
(the bible tells us to choose our friends wisely)  

Lesson: Find great friendship who will make you more powerful for God.  Don't find friends who will lead you astray or influence you badly with all their doubts if they have NO intention in finding their way in God. The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray - Proverbs 12:26 

I understand there are some times we got to take and give, some people who add and subtract in our lives. But avoid those who don't want to take on any of your advice, because this cycle will go over and over again until you start losing your sleep (I personally experience this myself). It is not worth it. 
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered - Proverbs 22:24 
Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character." - 1 Corinthians 15:33

God wants us to built the right friendship not just any friendship, cause as imperfect humans, we can be easily influence by anybody. Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble - Proverbs 13:20

One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother - Proverbs 18:24

To my close friends, 
Thank you for always being there when I need YOU. 
Here is a short poem I would like to share.

We need our friends for many reasons,
No matter what the day or season
We need friends to comfort us when we are sad
And to laugh with when we are glad
We need friends to give us a good advice
Someone we can count on to treat us nice
We need friends to remember us when we have passed
Sharing memories that will always last
We need friends to help us solve our troubles
And to share good times so the joy is doubled.

To be continued ...


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