Learning The Art of Wedding Toast

All is going according to plan. Trust that there is a bigger picture. Trust that life is unfolding as it should.
Like I always remind myself,
God is an artist and I am his canvas. It's never too late to make a difference. You always got to start somewhere...


Through the years for some reason "toasting" is becoming less and less prominent.
I know there are plenty of toasts that you can refer from books, the Internet and others sources.
I know there are some people out there that are very capable of writing a toast and speeches.
I have heard some of these people at weddings, retirements and company outings.
If you are one of these people, who are gifted with words, you are truly blessed.

Today, I had a sudden urge to write a toast for my best friend, I choose not to refer but I look for words from my heart, it was not as difficult as I thought it would, I kept it simple and direct.
But proof reading it over again and again is the hardest part as I question myself which word is appropriate or which sentence is unnecessary.
I wanted to keep it short but meaningful. (... this is my first personal toast ... the previous wedding was technically not a toast it was more like on group speech which I wasn't please with myself ... I could have done better)

I still recall in 2008, as I was walking to work one day, my mind keep thinking about her wedding day, Will I be invited? What will I say? Where? When? I guess at that time the questions were hope (preparation) for me, to test our friendship and to look forward to her big happy day.
I am not the type of person who is good at writing or speaking in front of a group of people. But if I happened to come across a desire to speak for someone, I will try my very best to be worthy of standing in front of the mic or on stage in public. Well at less I put some effort into learning how to do it well before accepting the task. Somehow, I just knew I had do this, to send my best wishes to her as we have been through a lot together over the years.

Your marriage is a gift, it is a blessing from God, they had an opportunity to meet and I saw how they both decided to start a relationship, quickly they chose have a future together and agreed to committed to one another. It is a huge task to accomplish and a long journey to travel, but today I strongly believe that JC will take good care of my best friend PG as they have both proven their love and respect for each other. So on this special day 11 Nov 2011, I would like to ask everyone to lift their glasses to join me in giving a toast, We wish both of you happiness, living a fun and fulfilling life together. I pray that you will continue on a smooth journey and God will continue to bless both of you along the way. I am sure all of us here have just one request or task for both of you to accomplish, to start a family very soon. Cheers.

As tomorrow fast approaches,

May your hearts be open with patience and love.

May your lives be filled with blessings from above.

May you always share the best that life can provide.

As you spend your lifetime together side by side.

Drive or be Driven

Parting Words of Wisdom

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”
~Mathama Gandhi

The most inspiring and brilliant people I know have one thing in common: they never stop learning. 

I choose to be curious and learn. Whether I am a school kid, a college student, an aspiring Architect, an entrepreneur or a volunteer, learning is the empowering tool that allows me to tap into my inner well of creativity, fulfilment, and unique brilliance.

This is Part 2 continuation from A weekend of emotional Goodbyes (note: unexpected news, unexpected tears)

Two weeks ago, I took my friend's mum, Dr Roselia out to dinner at vegetarian cafe. Some of my friends would be amaze that I chose to spend my Friday evening with her instead of going for another friend's birthday drinks. Well I had all the intention to go for drinks after work that day but I got a call from my friend, she had to work late and asked me to accompany her mum for the night. You see she will be leaving the next day and I can't accept the fact that she has to stay home alone on that day. I kept her company and we shared a few interesting discussion about the past, present and future. 

I know she was concern for our future and worried for our present (me and my friend). She knows we are adults and we are free to live our lives as we so choose. But she can't help but to share her experience, 

"There are two types of man in this world, the ones that gets driven to woman (woman that makes their man go to another woman). They are technically not bad guys, all they want is a simple life and a little respect, not dealing with over-demanding or jealous girls, it is the troubled girls that chase the good guys away. The other type of man are the ones that drives to a woman ( Not necessarily a player but a guy who will do anything to get that awesome girl) In this scenario some nice girls might be unlucky and get into trouble with the wrong guys or some would say the BAD BOYS ... so the point she is trying to make is not to be miserable, this will force the partner to run to someone else who can provide them happiness, instead be smart and careful, take your time, we will never be alone because there is always someone out there who is willing to sit right next you."

She said, "Your choice, do you want Mr Right to drive or be driven?"

That week I came home every night tired but a lot of her words kept me awake, For example, "A man who treats his woman like a princess is proof that he has been raised by a Queen."

Spending the whole week with her was indeed meaningful, she bought me gifts, she invited me over for dinner, she packed my lunch, she promised my mum that she will make me well again (after weeks my cough is finally gone), we talked and laughed till very late every night. It felt like Home, something Sweet, a feeling I had almost forgotten.

I woke up in the morning and asked myself "Do I stop or keep pressing on? My room is in a mess, my life is falling apart, my body is getting weaker by the day, I thought I can do this but it is too hard. I am so occupied that there is no time for tears." I was so embarrassed when she saw the state of my room; I sat there praying before rushing of to work, reminding myself again to try coming home early to clean. A few hours later it seems my prayers were answered. I received a message "The minute you think of giving up, think of the reason why you held on for so long." That night, I came home and wrote The Best Gift of All cause I strongly believe, somebody up there (God in Heaven) loves me. Everybody down here (on earth) cares for me. I have taken a step and now all I need is to accomplish it, I trust that someday I will understand the purpose of MY journey.

On Saturday I sent them to the airport, standing there in the airport, I can't bear looking at everyone bidding farewell to each other. Finally it's time for her to board the plane, tear wells in my eye. "Don't worry about us, we will take good care of each other, every time I am down, I will think of your words and I promise to hold my head up high." 

Early next morning, I went for the usual Sunday morning service, I bought a gift bible (hoping that one day I will have the courage to give it to her). It was a long sunny day at church, I served at Tiny Tigers (Sunday school), followed by connect group discussion, attended Kids Alive emergency meeting (after rushing home for a quick shower) and ended with Super Sunday (Donna was great that evening). Pastor M made an exclusive announcement; he has to make a difficult decision to move on to the next chapter in his life. Of course it made my tears start rolling again, for the same reason (departing) but in different situation. Despite the years, it only gets harder and harder to say goodbye to everyone who is leaving.

What have I learned from Pastor M?

He always ask us to think of God

When we are lost, He will bring us back
When we cry, only He will make us glad
When we think we have a bad day, He knows
When the going's get tough and we feel like giving up
When we think we have had enough and hang our head down low
When we don't know where to go and feel like we are alone
When we fall or think nobody cares, He listens (Pray to God)
Wait outside the door, for everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Matthew 7:7-8
Our flesh is weak, but the spirit, heart and mind are eternal
God is the way, the truth, and the life. Follow the Lord.
Pastor M, is a true motivator and his inspiration will always be with us to the end

The DKALs will serve a Purpose Driven Kids Ministry  

Maybe I miss out on an empowering conversation with important people because I am too busy. Or I miss the chance to reframe a current, frustrating situation with a friend’s refreshing perspective because keeping-in-touch hasn’t been a priority. Or I miss the opportunity to deepen my compassion for my family who needs me because I haven’t picked up the phone in weeks, simply to ask, “Hey, how’ve you been? What’s new?” Or the book, the class, the certification, the travel adventure I’ve decided to put off until tomorrow because it’s always easier to delay than to take action.

When I decide to put off events, conversations and the opportunity to life-learn, I know I also take for granted the amazing people, teachers, and lessons available in my life. They are prepared and waiting to show me vibrant, meaningful experiences.

So today, if you are reading this, why don't you choose to open our thoughts, perspective, and time to create space for growth, our own personal growth.

We can all begin by cultivating a mindset that embraces endless possibilities, igniting creative thoughts, pushing past current limits, engaging in seeking a deeper purpose, channelling potential by learning something new and revealing the openness to experiment with what makes us feel fully alive again. 

And the Story of Learning Continues …

Dream Team Leadership

We have called us, team C ushers, the DREAM TEAM. I have asked myself who is an excellent usher?

For God, whom we serve, our Sr Pastors have asked that we reach for excellence. Our leaders asked that we give our best. We may have any number of reasons to be an usher. These are thoughts that came as I examine myself; one who honors Jesus commission to love God and love his neighbor (Luke 10:27) He answered, Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, Love your neighbor as yourself.

Serving God through this church is one small way of expressing our love for God. And, we love our neighbor through;

• Submission to leadership (Heb 13:16-17) And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased. Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority, because they keep watch over you as those who must give an account. Do this so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you.
• Submit one to another (Eph 4:2-3) Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
• Minister to the congregation through the expression of the fruit of the Spirit in our action, words, deeds and gifts (Gal 5:22) But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

When we recognize who we are as ushers, usually seen as the hands and feet of the church during services, there is unity in spirit and a flow of God's grace in us and through us as we serve.

It is indeed a privilege to be an usher and serve God and church in this manner. And, rightly we should give our very best to our Lord Jesus. I close with these words " Ushering is not just another job" if we apply God's principles into what we do. 

The above was written and read by ET this evening before the service.

Now you may wonder why I would share ET words in my blog, well an hour before the service, the team normally gather for prayer before the service commence. This week is her turn for sharing His message by putting her thoughts on paper. She told us how one night, she couldn't sleep, her mind is keeping her awake and she finally surrender and pen down the scriptures that was speaking to her. After pouring out her feelings she manage to sleep peacefully. She told the team she had something to share, she needed to speak cause God had sent her a message. Finally the time came, it is her turn to share this evening.  

Now I have to confess that I have been missing in action probably for a few weekly ushering due to other commitments. Coming back to the team today, I felt a sense of belonging again, I miss the team, I felt I was away for a long long time but the feeling of closeness and warmth are still strong. By the way during this time our team leader got married, we found out about it on FB and got really surprise, amazing, sincere showers of blessing and best wishes to both of you. May you both have a happy wedded life together. 

During the meeting, ET sat next to me, she look very nervous, she stumbled a few times but she carried on reading. I could feel, she was trying hard to keep calm, she looked over at me as we were sitted. Her message was indeed what we need to hear from God. After she finish sharing, she pointed over to me, indicating I will be the next one to share in the next meeting. 

So we close in prayer and went off to start our ushering duty. During the sermon, the Holy Spirit prompted me to approach her. I pull myself together and walked over to her. I asked her if I could have a look at her speech that she had prepared, out of my surprise, she passed the folded paper over to me instantly and said I can take it home with me, it is for me. I look down at the piece of white paper, I didn't expect she so openly gave me her note, it was personal. I look up back at her and she said, "My dear I have to also tell you this, you have to know, after I finish writing it all down, before I went back to sleep,  the Holy Spirit told me that someone in the team will walk up to me asking for the message and I will pass it on." 

Now to my surprise, she was chosen to share not the week before or after but this week when I am here, how ironic right, I am sure she didn't know I would be coming this evening, plus among everyone in the team, she said she keep thinking of me, and she know I will be the one asking for it. 

I have to say we are never close, we don't hang out much after ushering, she has never ask for my help and I have not given her anything. During the service, I stood there thinking to myself, for her to be waiting eagerly till the weekend, so that she can get the task done, it must tiring, she had to be patient and obediently waiting for everything to take place. She truly trusted God's purpose.

I was a bit overwhelmed, but holding that piece of paper, I have to admit it is not coincidence or choice, God wanted me to hear this from her. I have to thank her for being my messenger today and I pray my blog will continue to be a blessing to others. To my sisters and brothers in church, do not turn your backs to serving God, do not ignore His calling and do not fear sacrificing. We are all interdependent and we have a purpose in God's plan.

It is one thing for us to pursuit God, it is whole different thing for Him to pursuit us. He already took a step by bring us into His world. It is now up to us to run towards Him.

Join me in prayer, praise and worship ... I will meet my next team at kids ministry tomorrow morning.

Another great team, Building Future Young Leaders which I will name them The Baby Dream Team.

Are You The Average of Your 5 Friends?

As I was driving my friend home tonight turn to me and said "I must say, the Halloween party we attended, must have been one of the most happening scenes ..." Well to be honest I must say both events that I attended is by far the best organised events this year. The effort that some of these individuals put in was amazing. These people were full time working professionals and successful business owners, not just any random students trying to throw a party to have fun after the end of a semester. They stayed up and spend many hours decorating their place.

The place was so well decorated, everyone came in full Halloween costume, a lot of people crowded the Scary House ... food look like fingers, creative snake and ladder board game, face paint, mask, spiders and knifes sticking out, blood dripping, skulls, cobwebs everywhere ... I really have to salute them. There is only one word for describing staying up till 5am to prepare all these for a party, RESPECT.

When we think of Halloween we think of the colors black and orange. Images of carved pumpkins or Jack-O-Lanterns, bats, witches, black cats, spiders, skeleton and other scary creatures come to mind. Another friend actually took the effort of transforming her flat into spooky place, the less I could do is turn up dress for the occasion. When I said I am coming and I agree to do something, I will put in my best effort to make it great, and make sure everyone enjoys themselves. So I did succeed appearing as a scary cat, I had great response and overwhelming compliments. At the end of the day, my spontaneous face makeup paid off. 

Anyway I was invited into the Halloween group by pure coincidence, chatting with new friends. There is a price to pay for being too friendly and nice to others sometimes, people start calling me "The Party Gal" which is not true and a bit demeaning. I had my first hands on experience on how going out of my way to help others did serious damage to my health and reputation.

Every year, I have a few things on my bucket list which I try my best to accomplish before Christmas and the parties were not part of the plan, it came as a surprise. I had to improvise and make changes to the list every now and then. I do miss the old days where I had the freedom to just attend dinner, birthday parties, BBQ, clubbing, Friday drinks, weekend road trips, etc. Sadly I am still trying to figure out where I spend all my time. Work? Sleep? Maybe age is catching up on me.

I already have very close group of friends from university, previous and current church, badminton socials, connect group, work acquaintances, professional networks and not forgetting the big sister - little sister buddies aka "Heng Tai" and "Chi Mui". My group of network continue to expand. I am not complaining it is bad to have many friends, do we really need to socialize so frequently? Where do you stop? When do you not stop making friends? If you were to look back at your former self, let’s say 1-2 years ago, how much have you changed? Hopefully, each year of your life is different and better than the last.

As for me, my perception of reality, my level of abundance of adventures, my finances, my knowledge, my wisdom and random life skills have drastically evolved compared to a few years ago.

Let me ask you this though… Who are your friends? Are your friends the same as 3-4 years ago?

And more importantly…Have they made the same journey as well?

Over the few years many of my friends have fallen by the wayside, yet I have cultivated new friendships, and I have noticed some interesting consistent commonalities among the new ones.

Jim Rohn said, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

I follow this rule carefully, choosing friends that align with my core values.

If you look at my closest 5-10 friends, it’s full of VERY successful entrepreneurs, all with amazing partners, all well travelled, well read, positive, hard working, healthy, straight up proper people.

At first I think the process of my social circle evolution was somewhat invisible, as I slowly started to realize how my friend’s positive traits became my own, I’ve gotten more selective. The random little thoughts that someone has, how they view the world and their experiences, are very different depending on if they are coming from a place of abundance or scarcity.

And I started developing stronger, healthier mindsets in the areas of health, fitness, financial abundance, and overall life productivity. I am now more productive than ever before, ultimately leading to the creation of this blog. I am eating close to 100% healthy foods, even pushing to find healthy choices while travelling, cutting carbs and slamming supplements.

I am running at the start of every alternate day, along with a few hours of reading and writing at night. I am trying to read a few more books every week, creating relationships with people from various walks of life, losing close to 10kg of weight, and feeling amazing from the amount of productivity I am accomplishing in my life.

The past week is like a renaissance back to that time when I was single again.

I’m here in sitting in bed every night and my only goal when planning this mission trip was to add another “notch” on my belt for China and enjoy as much sun as I can now before I head there for to embrace a freezing winter.

It’s funny how things happen the way they do.

The blog is really starting to take off, subscriptions are up, traffic is increasing, and every event I attend, people are sharing about their life experiences. One of the biggest benefits of this is being in close proximity to someone living the life, seeing their thought processing, putting on the creative thinking cap and achieving WHAT IS POSSIBLE!

Thanks again to all my readers!

Just the experience of seeing and listening to what is possible in your life 

is true motivation to keep me posting on my blog every week.

Once you see what is possible, it becomes real, and you can piece it into your own reality, especially if you have constant exposure to someone living the life, imagine having financial freedom for life, imagine volunteering for any organisation and not worrying about upcoming bills. I meet this group of people in the party and it gave us a window of opportunity, to share our charities with each other .

BUT ... if the only people you surround yourself with are negative, scarcity minded people, you will start to focus on the things that they constantly stress and reinforce. If all you hear about is how bad the economy is, how shitty someone’s girlfriend is, how your friend is only living pay check to pay check, how hard someone finds it to lose weight, how there is never any extra time or money for a gym membership, or travel to a new city; you are going to unconsciously start to pick up similar beliefs.

BUT ... if you surround yourself with friends that hold themselves to higher standards, almost borderline insane optimism about their life goals, whether it be financial success, success with men/women, a life of adventures, of stories, of travelling and countries visited, or living a long and healthy existence…It rubs off.

You start to assimilate their thought processes, and start to view YOUR reality in a way similar to your friends.

Bottom line: If the main topic of conversation you have with your friends is not how you can better yourself, you need to get new friends.

What to do with old friends?

I’m not saying to start shunning any of your long-lost friends, or to drop anyone who isn’t a millionaire.

As long as you have friends that empower you, motivate you, and CELEBRATE when you succeed as opposed to resorting to belittling your accomplishments, or outright DENYING them, there is no reason to cut someone out.

If you have friends that hold you back, force you into your “old choke self,” or harbor ANY kind of negativity, expunge them as quickly as possible.

I am eternally grateful for being able to meet some of the coolest, most successful people out there, and I’m happy to call them my friends. Many of you who read this, know who you are.

It’s motivated me, taught me valuable lessons, and allowed me to experience a life beyond anything I could have imagined a few years ago.

How to cultivate these relationships?

Offer mutual value! Be honest to one another.

Someone asked me recently asking how to find a mentor or a best friend.

I explained that some of it comes down to pure luck, meeting the right person at the right time.

If you get lucky enough to find someone you can learn from, soak it in, and APPLY yourself so that they see you are working hard, appreciating the mentoring process, and diligently putting the time in.

And also know how to turn it off.

There is a time for questions, and a time to just sit back and drink a beer with a friend.  Constant bombarding questions quickly triggers red flags, value leeching!

I start to feel like the other person is just objectively USING me, as opposed to authentically trying to learn, you know what I mean trying to gain more benefits compared to legitimately looking for something to better them.

Sincerely thanks to Brad Banson, Tina Su and Buford Taylor for sharing their thoughts.

I would also like to take this opportunity to thank those Halloween organizers, cleaning up after would be such a pain. But seriously thank you for the invitation, thoughts, effort and hardwork. Now all you need to do is focus on "Igniting Your Spiritual Passion", God will bless those who are a blessing to others. Amen.