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Saturday, 26 May 2012

FAQs, Do's and Don't's

Stuck waiting at the departure lounge in the international terminal, I dedicated this to a good friend who gave me a very eventful birthday experience this year.

For those who might be planning to explore the option of speed dating, you probably would find these Q&A relevant. Speed dating is the hot new alternative on the dating scene, compared to barhopping and on-line dating. In the present world of speed and frenzy, speed dating is the instant dating solution for today’s youngsters or working professionals. Unlike normal dating, you have got 5 to 10 minutes to meet and create chemistry. (hahaha fat chance)

One thing you really don’t have is the luxury of time, therefore the way you dress and the questions you ask are really important. If you are tongue-tied, you are out of the picture. Yup it is a competitive world out there. Dating experts advise that no one wants to date some one who does not talk, is boring or nervous, you must be ready with a list of interesting, impressive and enjoyable questions that will keep the conversation thriving. (sounds like a lot of work)

The Do's and Don't's
1. Remember to be confident (act confident even if you are not)
2. Make a proper introduction (work on your smile)
3. Go with a positive attitude
4. Dress well
5. Avoid swearing, telling lies or have unrealistic expectations

There are numerous other questions you can ask on a speed date if you rack your brains. The trick is to select from among these the questions that are closest to your heart and whose answers are important to you. If you can't remember the important questions; there are so many topic to discuss and enjoy!

Some of the questions I found interesting or I would used during a date (ranging from serious to silly)

Conversation starter
  • What do you do for work? - It is an introductory question. It may reveal the professional status of a person but very little about his personality. So move on to another question.
  • Where are you from? - This reveals background. It throws better light on the person.
  • What is the one thing about yourself that you would like me to know? More insight into his personality.
  • When was your last relationship and how long did it last? A probing question that will open up the communication.
  • Do you believe in love at first sight? You can decide whether he is a romantic person or not.

Warming up
  • What do you do for fun? This will throw light on whether your leisure activities match.
  • How do you spend your spare time? This is important, as it will really help if both love to do the same things in spare time.
  • Are you an outdoor person and he a bookworm? Which is the last book you read?
  • Do you like animals/keep pets? Are you going to clash on this issue - one an animal hater, the other a pet lover?
  • Describe your perfect holiday. Would you like to climb a mountain or trek across a desert? If one thinks frozen Alaska, the other sunny tropical island. Uh-oh
  • What is your favourite month of the year and why? Does he like to sweat it out in summer activities or curl up like a cat in winter?
  • Are you a morning person or a night person? Is sexual compatibility important to you?
  • Who is you favourite movie/actor/actress/celebrity and why? Into which personality’s shoes would you like to step for a day? Says a lot about his taste.
  • What is your favourite sports or team? Who is your favourite sportsperson?
  • Do you believe a cup is half empty or half full? Are you an optimist or a pessimist?

By now you would have a good feeling if you want to continue on with the conversation with him or stop here.

Going into the details
  • What are you looking for in a relationship? What do you think is the most important value in a relationship? You can both instantly compare whether you match in this area.
  • Do you want to marry or have you ever been married? This is important, as it will reveal if both are moving in the same direction - towards or away from marriage.
  • What do you look for in a husband/wife? Do you want/do you have any children? An important question if you are looking for a long-term relationship.
  • Is religion important to you? 24x7 living together means understanding on certain basic issues like religious beliefs.
  • Where do you see yourself in five years time? Watch out if he has no definite goals for the future and is in a rut. A positive mark if you have your life and career planned out positively.

Now if you still have time, you may light up the mood with some silly remarks.

Insight into personality.
  • If you could travel back through time, what single mistake would you correct in life? 
  • What are your deepest regrets?
  • You have got six months to live, what will you do first?

Amusing question just for laughs.
  • If you won a lottery, how would you spend your millions?
  • If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
  • Which is the one job in the world that you would love to do?

Some of my personal favourite answers about life, goal, work, relationship and time 

Share briefly about your personal life?

My current goal in life is to become simpler and simpler.
Before this I wanted to do so much. My mum taught me a lot of things and exposed me to many different situations, I grew up basically wanting to do this kind of stuff and learn that new set of skills....
Now I'm taking life a little more slowly and still looking for new projects that I haven't done before, explore things that broadened my horizon … but I am now a lot more selective. It is like practising both longevity and diversity at the same time by doing different things in my own way at my own pace and exploring how to remain the relevance over a longer period of time.

What qualities, attributes or talent can be seen in your work?
A lot of discipline and dedication. I don't go out partying all the time, I used to do it when I was younger but now it is not a constructive use of my time. I am way over it cause it no longer serve any purpose for me. I guess there are things in life you have to give up in order to acquire a new task. Remaining focus in life is not an easy exercise, I find balancing between both work and family became a very crucial part of my life.

What qualities do you look for in the close friend that you keep?
Creative thinkers, people that inspires me, not necessary in the same industry but also people outside the industry are important and good friends that work hard to achieve what they want. When I seethe passion in their work, it reminds me of who I am, what I like to do. There are times when I might lose inspiration or my dream/ ambition. When I hang out with them, it restart that whole drive in me again. I feel it is important to have close friends like that to support each other, to discuss topics with passion and laughter. 

How do you spend your free, down and spare time?
It really depends on what I do, where I am going, what my mood is ... it can be very different every time. There are times when I can be really hyperactive and do a lot of things. Other times when I am very exhausted from work and I just want to go home and not see anybody. Spend a quiet evening or weekend, having some ME time (for myself).
A couple of times I was so occupied with life, I just wanted to spend some quality time with my family. Get in touch with my friends back home, you know, having more than just an email or an on-line chat or a quick phone conversation, it's good to see them in person over a good meal or coffee and talk.

Where do you normally travel and how do you choose your vacation?
I am very fortunately that I have a job that pays my bills and also allowed me to take time off and travel over the last couple of years. I have been to a few places and would like to visit a few more. Singapore, Hong Kong, LA and Vegas is a great place for shopping, full of energy and vibrant, I would like to visit New York someday. 
I love to travelling to different places in Europe and Japan to explore the culture and history, but you need to save up and plan well for these trips. Many parts of Asia can be fun, cheap and easy, you learn a lot about the society.
I recently made a trip to Tibet and China. I brought my computer, I had a phone with internet but I realise that I don't need all these modern conveniences, I learn what basic human living is all about, no need for fancy cars or expensive clothes, all I need is to sleep, to rest and to adsorb what's happening around me. I spend a month there and came back here, it put things into a better perspective, stop me from being such a spoilt brat, keep my feet on the ground (no more flying like a legless bird)
I am ravished by the beauty of the world and I really love spending time exploring nature.
My next destination would probably be Latin America or South Africa, I haven't decided yet.

Okay time to board my flight ... 


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