Social Icons

twitterfacebookgoogle pluslinkedinrss feedemail


Friday, 11 November 2011

11.11.11 Stand by Me, Count on Me

All my life I never dreamed of being a bridesmaid, now as life unfolds, I notice close friends are always watching and looking to invite a great friend, great help, for their most important day, wishing for the perfect wedding, dreaming for a fairy tale ending.

On the other hand, I've always thought being a bridesmaid may not actually be all that much fun, and I know I would not be asked if the bride don't think I am suitable or important. They would never ask me to do any boring things like addressing envelopes or red packets, just fun things like helping them plan their hen's night, pick the most elegant dress that would make them stand out, put on their make-up abd set their hair to make them look like a princess. There was even once when I arrive at Crown, I asked the bride why her nails are still not done ... Panic!!! The bride totally forgot, but it was too late, every saloon was close or hotel spa booked out. I had to rush home to get my nail polish to give her a french manicure. Not one wedding that I am involved, I had more than two hours of sleep the night before and that was all I was allowed. No matter how hard we planned ahead or how long a checklist was prepared, Murphy's Law applies - Anything That Can Go Wrong Will Go Wrong. Stress level is always high.

Being a bridesmaid, 101 rule, prepare to not ask questions when there is a problem, just find a solution first and deal with the rest later, no blaming, no why not, no what if, no how about, nowhere is, no when (you should know the run down by heart, family names & important contact numbers) Everyone will ask you for everything at anytime.

If you can handle stress without any sleep but still make critical decisions even while you are putting on your make up and answering your phone at the same time (multi-tasking is crucial) ... You maybe qualified
If you can still look pretty at the end of the day, even though you are dead tired, annoyed and almost in tears but still manage to put a smile in front of everyone ...You passed

What makes being a bridesmaid so special? Just look forward to the day, as it will definitely be my best friend or sisters, who I'll be bossing around! Hahaha ... probably the only day they will let me decide or even listen to my advice.

Now I can't recall exactly how many bridesmaid invites I accepted or declined, but definitely I know there is a couple of waiting list in place already (Yes! No official wedding and I am book in advance)

On the day of the wedding, my place or principal duty being a bridesmaid is to provide practical and emotional support. Just assist the bride with dressing, manage her veil, bouquet of flowers, wedding ring, make sure she feel awesome and Flower Girl and Page Boy are ready, focus on walking down the aisle (praying no one trip over). At the reception, prepare a speech or offer a toast to the newlyweds, always being social. Be sure to talk to as many guests as I can, making them feel warmly welcomed. If there's a dance floor, help get the party going! It looks simple and easy to the patrons right? 

Sigh ... well in the midst of all the above predicted stress and problems experienced, there is always a long story behind every successful wedding.

Yesterday after work, I went for Zumba Fitness (combination of Latin and International music with a fun and effective workout system) it helps me to concentrate; I have to focus my mind on my body, coordinate the movements and rhythm. If my mind is worrying about something else, I can't focus on myself, and I notice if I can't dance or follow the steps I know I can't perform well. As the final track was playing "Stand by Me" I started humming "When the night has come and the land is dark and the moon is the only light we see ... No I won't be afraid ... And darling, darling stand by me ... If the sky that we look upon should tumble and fall and the mountain should crumble to the sea ... I won't cry, No I won't shed a tear ... Just as long as you stand, stand by me ... Whenever you're in trouble ... 

I knew I had to talk to someone tonight, all I needed to tell that person is
... no matter who you are 
... no matter where you go in your life
... at some point you will need somebody to stand by you 

I went to bed praying that all is going according to plan; trust that there is a bigger picture and that life is unfolding as it should.

Today, I was prepared, I took the day off straight after the couple announced their wedding date (even though the venue was not selected) as I know that I need to be ready. I wanted to try to avoid the last mistakes and do better this time. As usual I woke up, happy and looking forward, knowing very well the task I am appointed and will be doing.

I always end up waking up early on a day off, I really can't believe myself, I should have just sleep in. But I couldn't so I went and treat myself to a facial and massage probably followed up with a haircut, manicure and pedicure. 
But life never stops just because you planning for a wedding or while you are attending a wedding. I had only one hour to myself before important calls start flooding my phone, friends asking for urgent help or even clients want to know why I am not at work replying their emails. Oh boy, today was a roller coaster ride. 

Of course I manage to answer questions, help to solve a few problems, and try to work on a few issues. A few people were very thankful that I choose to help even if I am rushing off to prepare myself for tonight's wedding. (I had literary no luck with my hair, almost gave up but at the end manage to style it right)
But there were some who are upset or offended when I had to make changes to plans last minute to accommodate a difficult situation. (I am really sorry, but why the attitude and cold treatment throughout the night?)
Traffic was crazy, roadwork and peak hour traffic, driving around town was really taking a toll, but I manage to survive by listening the radio playing a song. I arrive on time and the bride was late, while waiting at the venue, I search up the song, it is called "Count on Me" by Bruno Mars.

Find out what we're made of
What we are called to help our friends in need
You can count on me like one, two, three
I'll be there and I know when I need it
I can count on you like four, three, two
And you'll be there 'cause that's what friends
Are supposed to do, oh yeah,
You can count on me 'cause I can count on you

Finally all went well her new chapter begins, a wonderful journey I am so happy for her.
This time round I manage to sleep last night, but sadly tonight, I am wide awake, 2 hours of sleep is all I could get. I woke up soaking in tears realizing my dream just ended.
How could it that when I try to do good I get an unfair treatment when all my intention was to protect her, by standing, by helping the people around her who were failing. Why can't you be understanding for once and not be difficult at me? You know very well this day is important to me too. The special friendship meant a lot, she is my best friend.

God has a plan for everyone. I may not be in your plan now, but know my name will be in someone else's. So I have to keep smiling and continue praising.

I put on a good show and everyone went home with a smile, that is all matters ... now I finally let loose just can't hold it in any longer, let it flow. How I wish I could only remember the good that happened and not the bad on 11.11.11.

A fairy tale might end for some but nightmares just started for others. To Shim and Shiv who had difficulty at work this week and shared, thank you, I am happy that I manage to ease your worries this week. But to "ultimatelavidian" I am so sorry, after all the effort to prevent it from happening at work, you got to leave but thank you for putting on a strong face, when you are actually falling apart inside. I knew something was not right the moment you sat next to me on the table, but you hold it all in (like me) and only let it all out after the wedding. Very well done, I am proud of you, you have changed. As years pass, we have all grown wiser and matured. Everyone we know is getting married, some of them at the wedding are pregnant, we are just getting more and more awesome.