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Tuesday, 13 March 2012

GLOW Mission 4: When You Can't Handle it All

Last year as I was preparing myself for the trip, I had this constant pre mission voice that keep telling me "You Can't Handle It, You Can't Do It" , it kept me worried for weeks. It made me very weak physically, drain me mentally and challenge me spiritually. Thankfully I was strong, I manage to overcome the fear and pain with a lot of prayers from everyone.

When I was finally prepared, the voice changed "You Can't Please Everyone. Stop Trying to Live Your Own Way", throughout the trip, the voice slowly fade away. 

On my way home, as I was looking at the photos of the children's precious smiles, sweet memories flash back, I heard a new voice "You Can't Control the Future."

Strength - When You Can't Handle it All

A volunteer (from Britain) was embarrassed to admit that she had never ever used chopsticks in her life, for the first few days she struggled at holding on to two long wooden sticks, I could tell she was really starving, but all she did was just poked at her simple bowl of rice and she could not bring herself to pick the rest of the food. On the other hand, I felt it was the best meal I had ever eaten (maybe because it was winter, I was cold and really hungry) I continue to encourage her to try harder even though she kept dropping food all over herself.

For many weeks I was away from home, from my loving family, from my comfort zone, only then did I start thinking of the important people in my life (my family + close friends). I miss having them around.

Throughout the trip, I fell sick a couple of times (migraine, flu, sore throat, diarrhoea and acute mountain sickness) I had to stay in bed to recover. I could vaguely remember someone came into my room, touched my forehead, said a few words, returned shortly with some medicine, placed some soup on my bedside and left quietly. I was really touched.

You see when we feel like we are going without, then it really make us appreciate everything we have. When we go without love then we notice a caring action, when we go without grace then we notice when others forgive, when we feel weak we really notice the strength of others. I think that is why we often connect more with God when we are going through struggles, it's only then, when we realise our own insufficiencies that we turned to rely on our loving and powerful strength of our creator.

I blame myself for not planning a more relaxing holiday (most of my travels are like amazing race), I was not well rested on the plane, I returned to work expecting to meet a few project datelines but instead I was hit by bad news, one problem after another arises, I had to coup with stress both at work and at home all at the same time.

Often when my life gets tough, I forget to go to the source of all the answers ... to God ... I will always start by trying to deal with things on my own, I will asked some friends for advice or I will make some rash decisions, however when I finally realised that none of that was working ... reading the Bible, I will be reminded I can always rely on God when I can't find a solution, He will always help me, He has more answers than Google. ;-) We don't have to go to anyone to connect with Him.

Lesson: Just remember If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.


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